How to Deal

Study Questions from Ch 1:

I guess I decided to read this book because I knew of the author through my previous home church in Fayetteville, NC.  Johh Bevere spoke several times at the church, and I was always intrigued by what he had to say.  I didn’t seek out this book, I just happened to see in the bookstore and picked it up.

The closest example that describes God’s invitation to me would probably be when the disciples saw Jesus walking on the water – walking as if he would pass them by. 

I definitely think prayer is a dialogue.  I think God has been communicating his love and care for me, and his approval of my attempts to draw nearer to him, even as little as they are.

“To a large extent, we have done this in our churches as well; we’ve preached more of what Jesus will do for us rather than who He really is!  As a result we have cultivated many who serve God primarily for benefit rather than in joyful response to who He is.  It could be compared to a woman who marries a man for money; her motive is not to know her husband for who he is, but rather for what he can do for her.  Oh, she may love him on some level, but for all the wrong reasons.

People who emphasize the blessings of God to the neglect of a relationship with Him create disciples who come to God to get something, rather than those who respond to Him for who He is.  He is like no other and none compare to the wonder of Him.  Once God is encountered, as Moses experienced, the promises all fall into perspective.  He is so much more wonderful than anything – even His blessings.”

So here I am.  It’s almost August, and I haven’t written anything in months.  Oh, to be consistent! 

Looking over my previous posts, I pause to note that I don’t consider myself depressed anymore.  Do I still struggle with sheer hopelessness?  Yeah, on occasion.  Do I still procrastinate?  Of course.  Do I still spend most of my day stuck indoors?  Yeah.

But along the way, things have changed. 

I completed summer school.  I took three classes: I dropped one, recieved an incomplete for the other, and recieved an A in the third.  That’s definitely progress, considering its been almost a year since I attended class three days in a row.  I felt such accomplishment the first time I went to class two days in a row.  It was definitely a turning point.  I could finally be proud of something I had done recently.

Of course, I should never stop thanking You for this victory. 

And although I still struggle for consistency with You, I am in a different place than I was a few months ago.  I can remember what it feels like to walk with You.  I can remember all the great things You’ve done for me.  And in remembering all these things, I can feel the emotion attached to them now.  I feel things like joy and yearning, peace and confidence; such a far cry from the tearless sorrow I felt months ago.  Speaking of tearless, my former state of crying at the drop of a hat hasn’t returned, but perhaps I may never return there.

But I feel joy - joy when I’ve been with You.

Oh, continue to restore me.  Push me to greater depth and consistency with You.

I will trust You, no matter what.